The Truths and Riddles Behind the N Word and American History

There is so much behind a word. What it means, where it originated, how it's used, and how society interprets it. Take the word "history", for example. Most would say it simply means the past, or events that occurred in the past. Usually there is some kind of connection you make with words. When I think of history, I think of how much it still affects us today, and of events in American and world history. But how many people would know that the word "history" comes from the greek word historia, which actually means "inquiry, knowledge acquired by investigation".

It wasn't until 1390 that this word became part of the English Language, and obtained a new definition: "relation of incidents, story". The definition changed again, to simply "story", and then again, to "record of past events." (If you were wondering where I got my sources from, I will admit it was from wikipedia, even though you aren't supposed to use it, particularly when writing in school, I still use it for getting random information).

Anyway, my point is that people create words, and with them meaning and denotations. Every word has its own unique meaning and story behind it. I used to find this absolutely fascinating when I was about six or seven. I used to just focus on some random, everyday word, and try and grasp its true meaning--why it sounded like that, how it was spelled, and who came up with it. Okay I just realized that I'm getting a bit off topic, so I will get back to the idea I originally started out writing this post with.

The N Word. It's not that I am scared of saying it, I just don't like it. I think what the student in the article was saying about how not saying a word gives it more power was right. But I also believe that this word has had so much power and negative meaning throughout history, that there is no point in saying it in order to prove a point.

Since the day the first African American person was taken captive, and sent to America to be a slave, this word has been gathering meaning. Definition. Although it depends on who says it to

who, and in what way it is said, I believe that it is history that has shaped this word. There is no going back. This word has power and control because of its history. The N-word and the word “history” have so much in common simply because they define each other.

This post didn’t turn out how I had originally intended. But that is okay. I like how I can begin writing and by the end of the last sentence I am surprised with what I came up with. My writing is always changing and growing, just like me.

What Scares Me

I used to never think about it. I just blocked it out. Before I moved house, I didn't even realize just how much they scared me. Their multiple sets of legs, their astounding speed, and their disgusting, writhing bodies. All of it grossed me out, but it was the pincers that really got me. I shudder at the thought of the two sharp, curved daggers, held high in the air, ready to strike.

Earwigs. I can't stand them. I don't like bugs in general, but earwigs scare me more than anything else. I guess this fear might be somehow related to two extremely unpleasant experiences I had involving them. It all began at my new house, which, unfortunately, was a haven to countless numbers and types of bugs.

The first encounter I had was right as I was getting into bed to go to sleep. I was just about to lay down, when my eyes caught a flicker of movement on my pillow. There, just inches from my face, was an earwig. It was sitting there, pincers pointed towards me, ready to assail at any given moment. I screamed. Running from my room, I asked my sister to help me out, and get rid of it. She grudgingly agreed, but when we went back in the room, it was gone. My insides started to squirm. Then the unthinkable happened. There was another, crawling on my sheets. The first earwig appeared from under my pillow. I backed away from the bed, only to be confronted with a third earwig on the wall. It was too much. After my bed was cleared of earwigs, and the one on the wall was squished, I still couldn't sleep. I kept imaging dozens of them crawling all over me. I was in panic. I couldn't shake the horrible feeling of pure terror that was looming in the back of my mind. But somehow, I got through it.

Over the next few days I had miraculously managed to forget about the earwig incident. Until, one night, when I was kneeling to pick up books on the floor, I was abruptly reminded in the worse way possible. I felt a sting on my foot, and guessing it was a mosquito, I tried to swat it away. But I was wrong. It was a repulsive earwig, viciously pinching me between the toes, unprovoked and malicious. I shrieked in fright, and the horrible memories all came flooding back.

Now, I try to avoid earwigs at all costs. I recoil at the memory of those upsetting and sinister events, hoping that I will never have to go through something like that again.

What I thought of "The Courthouse Ring"

This critical analysis of To Kill A Mockingbird was very well written, but I didn't always agree with what the author, Malcolm, Gladwell, was saying. He had a very strong opinion that he consistantly backed up with evidence and specific examples, but he didn't always have an open perspective. 

That is one thing that is incredibly important in writing to me. If someone can't keep an open mind, or in other words, "a mind that does not stick" the writing becomes far too one-sided, and the writing looses both credibility and meaning. Although "The Courthouse Ring" did include some facts about the good things Atticus Finch and Jim Folsom did, Gladwell focused mainly on the negative effects of both figures. For example, Gladwell mentions how Atticus "enourages them to swap one of their prejudices for another". Gladwell's article is based on the negative aspects of Folsom and Atticus, while it should be focusing on not only the negative, but also the positive. 

Even though it is a critical review, having a balanced view when you are writing, especially when it is opinionated is vital. I like to write looking at both sides of the story, and comparing them. Most likely one will be more convincing or worthwhile than the other, but just opening up your mind to all of the possibilities is intriguing. It makes it more interesting for me, and hopefully also the reader. Some writers may prefer focusing on one idea, but I generally like to look at the big picture, and then also at details. 

In a way I think in the way Atticus does this to a certain extent, but in a different context. Atticus looks at the big picture of things, and tries to understand how people are feeling and why. He then pieces all those details together like a puzzle, trying to make sense of situations and people. What he lacks sometimes is to look at more than just Maycomb. There's an entire world that you are missing out on if you focus to much on one small place, person, or point in time. Atticus has the right ideas, he just needs to increase his perspective on some aspects of life.

How I Write

How I Write 

How do I write? It may seem like an incredibly simple question, but answering it is more difficult than it appears. The first thing that I think of when that question is asked, is that I often write something, then immediately delete it, and start again. For instance it took me a few tries to get these first sentences down. If I don't like how the words sound, or it's not exactly the idea I am trying to get across, then I start over; crossing words, sentences, or even paragraphs out. Sometimes I take a while to go through this process, wether I'm writing a story, short paragraph, a poem, or even a formal essay.

When writing essays and papers, it I tend to take a long time putting it all together. This is one aspect I would like to improve on--simply being able to write faster. I usually like to start off essays with an outline, or at least the main ideas of what I am going to write. The papers that I write are structured, with all of my conclusions, introductions, and paragraphs in order. I do this to keep my writing formal and organised, otherwise it can get messy and jumpled up. 

This is yet another detail I would like to improve on. Instead of having a pre-set structure already set in place for me when I write, I would prefer to have a more structured way of writing that doesn't make my writing sound trapped or condensed, yet flows freely with individuality and style. If I could write in a way that has structure, yet freedom at the same time, then I think my writing would vastly improve.

There are many other improvements that I would like to make, but for now I need to focus on how I am writing right now, and just practicing writing more. With practice, I believe that my writing will improve. That is my goal. To write.

Writing is kind of like a flower. It all begins with language. In those first few years of life, the first roots of knowledge start to grow. Then, as a young kid, the first leaves sprout, as reading and writing is introduced. This skill develops and grows as time goes by. After a while a bud appears--the potential of a writer's creativity and ability. When a writer finally becomes skilled in what he/she writes, the bud blossoms and unfolds into its full potential. Now, none of this could have happened without practice, time, experience, talent, and lots of help along the way. A flower would have wilted and died without a combination of water, sunlight, and soil. If you don't work on your writing often it will wither and fade away.

Right now I think of myself as at the stage where the blossom is just beginning to flower, and there is a whole world of possibility laid before me. I just need to practice more, and work on expanding the way I think and write. Writing is great because it can lead you where ever you want to go. And I have always loved traveling.